Self Completing
by acciodumbledore
Summary: Jess accidentally walks in on Nick "self completing" ... while holding a picture of her.


"Hey, Nick, can you come help me unclog the sink?" Jess is standing over the sink which is making a strange loud grinding sound. But there's no reply. "Nick?" Jess calls out again as she leaves the kitchen and wanders towards Nick's door. "Nick, are you home?" she asks, opening the door without knocking. You would think by now that Jess would understand this is a bad idea in an apartment full of men. Especially with the occurrence that had happened just a few months ago when she had walked in on Nick dancing naked. But she never seemed to learn.

What her eyes met when she peered into Nick's room made her freeze. Nick was in the middle of..."self completing," but something wasn't right...

"Is that a picture of me?" screams Jess, half laughing. But before Nick can reply, Jess slams the door and runs to her room. Wow, that was extremely embarrassing. Was he really doing..._that_...to a picture of her?

Once Jess had slammed his door, Nick's eyes were wide open and the photo he was holding was now resting on the floor. How was he going to explain this? It was true, he thought about her a lot when..._doing that_. Jess already knew this since Schmidt had announced it, but her actually witnessing it? Huge hit to the self esteem.

Nick's completely flushed and no longer finds himself aroused. So he gets dressed, but stays in his room. There's no way he's going out there.

"Where's Nick? I haven't seen him all day." It's now dinner time and Schmidt brought sushi for everyone. They're all sitting around the dinner table except Nick. Jess blushes a bit but says nothing. She's changed into a turtle neck, pants, and has her hair tied up now. It's better than a ski mask though.

"I don't know man, but this sushi is amazing," says Winston, stuffing another tuna roll in his mouth.

"Yes, I know. I only pick the best," murmurs Schmidt, looking towards the hallway. "Should I go get him? I bought those cheap California rolls just for him. You know how he loves cheap food," he says, standing up.

"No wait!" calls out Jess, pulling the turtle neck up over her mouth. She has no idea how she's going to put what she's about to say delicately. "I walked in on him...enjoying himself," she says, face getting a bit redder. Schmidt gives her a look as though saying, 'so?' All of the men in the apartment had walked in on each other 'enjoying themselves' dozens of times. "He was holding...a picture of me." At this both Winston and Schmidt burst out in laughter.

"Are you serious?" asks Winston, covering his mouth to keep from tuna roll being sprayed all over the table. Jess nods and pulls the turtle neck a bit higher.

"Oh, Jess. You should be flattered. He obviously likes your body or something. Must have one hell of an imagination," says Schmidt, looking off. As though trying to picture what Nick pictures when he's making love to himself.

"That's the thing! He has seen me naked," Jess blurts out. This was something the other two didn't know about. It was when Cece had given her the advice of, 'you've seen his, just show him yours.' Both Winston and Schmidt give her a questioning looks, wanting to know the details. "It was an accident, of course." She thinks she's cleared that up but Winston and Schmidt exchange look of skepticism. "What if he imagines me naked all the time? What if when I'm talking to him he just imagines me completely naked and doing a sexy voice all the time? Guys?" Jess is crossing the line of freaking out. She doesn't want to have some awkwardness between her and Nick. They're roommates and close friends.

"Chill, Jess. I'm sure he doesn't do that. He's not a complete pervert," says Winston, calm now and picking up another tuna roll.

"Yeah. But I'm sure he probably thinks about you when giving it to other women," says Schmidt. This doesn't help in the least.

A few hours later, Winston has disappeared into his room. Probably on the phone with Shelby. That woman wants to talk to him on the phone way too much. Schmidt and Jess are on the living room couch, watching Glee. Before moving into the loft, Schmidt had never even heard of the teen drama show. But once Jess had introduced him to it, he became totally hooked.

Halfway through the program, there's a creak of a door and both Schmidt and Jess turn quickly. Nick is walking towards them, hoodie on and hood over his head. No one says anything for a few moments. Going into the kitchen, Nick gets himself a water bottle and starts walking back towards his room.

"Nick, wait," says Schmidt, standing up. "I think we should get everything out on the table." Jess shakes her head feverishly and Nick stays frozen in his spot. "Jess walked in on you...loving yourself to a photo of her. Now, this has probably embarrassed you more than anything. My question is...why did you need a photo of her face? You've seen her body...naked," says Schmidt, trying to pull down Nick's hoodie but Nick slaps his hand away.

Jess cocks her head to the side. She didn't think of that. The photo Nick had been holding was one of her just her face, pretty much. Her neck and shoulders were in the photo too, but nothing else. What was the point? "Yeah, why that photo?" she asks, shifting in her seat so her whole body is facing him now.

Nick says nothing for awhile but suddenly throws the water bottle on the ground. "Can't a man just fantasize in this loft!" he yells, ripping the hoodie off of his head. "I use that picture, Jess, because I think you look incredibly...adorable in it. There, I said it. I know I've seen you naked, and that helps. But I also like to have your face in my head when...doing that. Okay? Call me a pervert, freak, weirdo, whatever. But that's what I like. Deal with it." Nick's breathing kind of hard after he finishes his little speech. Both Schmidt and Jess are silent. This is...weird?

"Well," starts Schmidt, but doesn't know what else to say. Nick is obviously at a point in his life where a woman's naked body isn't enough. Now he needs her face and a relationship or something. The Nick in college was nothing like this. He probably would have had sex with any woman. Even one without a head if it meant he could get off.

"I'm going to my room now," says Nick, picking up his water bottle and turning.

"Wait, Nick," starts Jess, getting up from the couch and walking over towards him. "I think it's really sweet that you imagine my face and not just my naked body. If my face brings you joy that way, then that's great!" Jess has a smile on her face and a hand on Nick's arm. "But if I ever wake up and you're making love to yourself next to my bed, I'm moving out," she says, patting his arm and then going back to the couch.


End file.
